MY ENCOUNTER WITH YOG…AND DEEPTI

I can claim to be Deepti’s one of the first yog students. The journey started in Apr 2019 and since then Deepti has been more than just my yog trainer. She is my mentor, friend and companion and the bond is lifelong (I am not going to leave you Deepti).

More than a year back, I came out of a rare auto-immune disease after being bedridden for 5-6 months and then took another 5-6 months to recover from it. Though most of it was cured, however, I lost 10-12 kgs in the process and lots of my confidence as well. However, I gained lots of wisdom about life and how would I like to live it going forward. Same time, Deepti just happened to me through a WhatsApp message someone put on my society group.

I am normally very irregular over the WhatsApp group but somehow this message caught my attention. God sends angels in our lives to help us when we are in our worst and I feel he sent Deepti to get me out of the shit I was in for a year.

After a few classes only, I realized that this association is going to last long (no matter how hard Deepti tried to leave me because of her and my busy schedule ;-)). Hurdles kept coming in form of irregularity, unavailability and early winter mornings. I can boast getting up at 4 and taking 5 am classes at Deepti’s place in peak winters.

Realizing all my batch mates dropped, she allowed me to do yoga with her family and that’s how I got to know three more beautiful souls: Ashish, Avni and Maa (Deepti’s Mom). I actually felt being part of the family and got many perks other than Yog: Tasty food, heavenly head massages by aunty, marketing Talks with Ashish and an elder sister for my daughter.

Now when I look back and try to contemplate why it turned out to be so beautiful, I realize that it’s because I found my alter ego in Deepti. When it comes to her profession, she is strict, a perfectionist and a “no-nonsense accepted” person. But when it comes to her personal traits, she is very emotional, helpful and caring.

I can go on talking about my journey with her and I know it makes a nice story for the next “Netflix” series but let me get to the real point of “Benefits of Yog”. The much-talked ones, you all know. So I will be very specific that how it helped me, mentally and physically, and pardon me if a few of them are a little awkward to read:

Gained the right weight: One of the most visible benefits I experienced.

I gained my original weight back and in the right places. Yog is not about gaining or losing weight and that’s just a byproduct of the whole process. However, for me, it was very necessary to gain my weight back to gain my physical strength back.

Stopped being unnecessarily emotional: I stopped crying or arguing when not needed

I remember a few incidences at my office where my anger burst in form of tears and believe me there can’t be nothing more embarrassing than to cry in front of your colleague. I don't know how exactly it happened, but now, I am so happy with my control over my emotions or at least form of expression. It doesn’t mean that I don’t get angry anymore, but I know how to take it out or channelize it.

Height Gain: It’s true

Can you believe a 36 years old to gain height but it happened to me? Now, do you know that Yog can do wonders? I got a bad habit to sit with a hump at my middle back and Deepti kept pointing it till I didn’t start correcting it and I have improved a lot now. I feel my spine has literally grown straight which helped me to gain few cms.

Spine correction: Yes I can feel that

Yog works at a different level and some of the results are not visible with naked eyes. I can actually feel my spine and can see how beautiful it looks now, exactly like we have seen it in our biology lessons in childhood.

Size 32 to 34: Don’t laugh when you read this

As a growing teenager I was always conscious of my breasts not growing to the extent I used to see of my friends and somewhere I developed the habit of hiding it with my drooping shoulders. Thanks to Deepti being after my poor shoulders, they are much expanded now to be not ashamed of myself. Interestingly my B size changed from 32 to 34 and I am so happy about that. (I know Deepti your concern was for my shoulders but I love the by-product)

Urine control: No more visualize myself with adult diapers

After childbirth, I got this embarrassing situation where I couldn’t hold my urine once I get the urge of it (Not that you should try doing it but then there are emergency situations). Thank god now the first thing I do is to hug my kid when I get back home than to rush to the bathroom.

Body realization: I am a defective piece

Interestingly we never halt and get to see our own body. While doing Yog with Deepti, I got to discover so many new things about my body and one of them was that my left and right side are totally different from each other and there are so many Asanas which I can do from my left side but not from the right. “How does this realization help me?” I am not sure about that but isn’t it very important.

Less cribbing and annoying: Hope so

I started enjoying imperfections in people and situations and not getting disturbed by them, mostly.

I can go on and on about many other by-products of these benefits such as

• Better control over situations
• Happy mom and wife
• Better productivity at work
• A good team leader
• Better concentration and focus…..

But I think I should stop as most of you must be inspired by now to go for Yog and if you still are not, then one trial class with Deepti will do the rest.

I will close it saying

Thanks Deepti for scolding me when I didn’t do my Asanas right, torturing me with that “Stay in this pose for 2 minutes” and ignoring me sometimes so I do it better because I know that you always will be there to encourage me to try what’s beyond my capacity, comfort me when I will be at my emotional worst and push me to get best out of my life.

You may not like to call yourself that but “You are my Guru” and will always be.

Love...

Vibha

Let me tell you she is special...

Today Saanvi has turned 6, and before I get out of my "writing mindset", I want to write how do I feel about two of us.

To start with me, though I was so keen to have her in my life but once I had her, I had all the doubts about how my life would be going forward. Not that I was too ambitious about things in my life but I got utterly confused with this 24*7 responsibility for which I thought I was prepared, but I was not.

And to all your disbelief, it took me more than 4 years to actually fall in love with Saanvi. Though I did every bit to take extra care of her, but I could never love her the way I used to see moms around me loving their kids. I used to be rude, mean, angry and selfish to her. And I am not writing this out of guilt. But that's how I was.

But this post in not about me. Today it's Saanvi's birthday and I want to tell her (Once she grows up and reads it) that I am madly in love with her now. And it's all because of she forced me to do so. Though every parent is crazy about their kids but let me tell you that she is special. On her 6th birthday I just want to jot down 6 reasons that made me fall in love with her...

1. She is too mature for her age. She is so mature that sometimes she makes me ashamed of my immaturity. She knows how to talk to whom, when to be angry, when to pause and when to start again.
2. She is very sensitive and by being sensitive, I don't mean she is over-emotional. But she cares about people (and animals). It shows in the way she treats younger kids, wants to feed ever stray animal on the road she comes across of and respects her teachers and elderly.
3. She is intelligent and smart. She is one of the brightest kids I have come across. I think I can take some of its credit by passing it to her in her genes ;-)
4. Don't take her as a docile girl. She loves to command, win and go out of the way to finish a fight she gets herself into. She is independent to finish her tasks and loves to lend me a hand when needed.
5. She is so like me when it comes to friends and adventure. She is loyal to her friends and would go to any length to help them. Also, she is one daring girl not afraid of trying anything new. She is just 6, but we already have multiple camping trips in some of the loneliest mountains of Uttarakhand. She has tried kayaking, rock climbing, river jumping, trekking and some more wild things, all on her own.
6. And last but not the least. She is madly and gladly in love with me. She loves me like that lover who would go to any length to see one streak of smile on his partner's face. Not only she loves me, she respects me, concerned about me, takes care of me and of course, scared of me sometimes.

Again no matter how selfish do I sound, but I always need one person at any point of time in my life on whom I can depend on and she is the one for me.

Today I want to tell you Saanvi that not because I am your mother, but because I am madly in love with you, you can count on me for anything at any point of time in your life. You call me or not, I will be there for you, always.

Keep growing the way you are. Keep getting wiser, intelligent and braver. Love you to the farthest galaxy in the space and back. 

Don't watch 'MOM' if you are a 'MOM'

One of the most brilliant performances of this year and amazing music score,  that is how I rate movie 'MOM'. But this post is not about the critical review of the movie. 

It's a post of a scared MOM, who got more scared after watching this movie. Though I was expecting the movie plot as it was but couldn't imagine the magnitude of the impact it made.

The ones who haven't seen this movie so far, this movie is a revenge story of a MOM to reclaim the peace of her daughter after she goes through the trauma of gang rape. 

Movie made me literally sick and pukish, my heart was beating out of my body, eyes filled with tears and by the interval, I was not able to breathe. And all this,  because I am a MOM of a GIRL. Though we read these kind of news everyday in newspapers,  but watching it happening on screen was horrifying. Rahman's music added to the horror. 

Movie made me realise that how easy it is to violate a woman's body to make her feel that she is weak, that she is not supposed to do certain things in certain manner,  that she can't say NO. It made me realize that how difficult the task is to raise my girl in this unsafe environment where I don't have any choice other than feeling helpless. 

Normally I am not a skeptical kind of a person and believe that by and large, people are good. However,  this movie forced me to think that how I am going to make sure that my daughter stays safe. Will I have the courage to send her alone for higher studies or party late night with her friends? I don't know,  because I don't have answers. 

I am a scared MOM. 

Advertising jo hai na khoon mein hoti hai...

Title of this post is inspired by the famous dialogue of the recent blockbuster movie Dangal "Sirf body banane se koi pehalwan nahi ban jaata ... pehalwani joh hai na, woh khoon mein hoti hai". 

This dialogue is literally true in my case with my 3 yrs old love for advertisements. Whatever little time I allow her to watch TV, I have seen her enjoying watching advertisements. And if I try to switch off the TV saying "Ads aa rhae hain", she tells me "Mujhe ads dekhna achha lagta hai". 

I allow her to have leisure bath of hours long in summers. Last summer, while she was busy playing with her toys in her bath tub and I was in kitchen, I heard her crying really loud. I ran to bathroom expecting some mishap and saw her sitting there in her bath tub. She looked completely heartbroken with soap in her hand and in first glance, I couldn't understand anything. So I asked her and I was stunned with her reply. She said looking at her soap almost in sobs "Dekho na mumma. Kitni der se try kar rahi hoon, but princess hi nahi ban rahi hoon." It took me a while to understand what she meant. When I looked closely, I saw Pears soap in her hand. So she was sitting there for quite a while and was expecting Pears to turn her into a princess. I was bowled with her innocence.

Another incident hapened recently. One fine day, we were watching TV together. Suddenly, she pulled my face closer to her and said pointing towards TV "Mumma, aap vo kyoon nahi lagate ye sab chale jayenge". I noticed some fairness cream ad there and by "Ye" she meant moles on my face. Again, I was stunned with her observation.

Being a marketing professional, I am concerned with how advertising plays with kids' minds.  But for the time being, I would like to keep that debate aside. 

What I like to discuss is that my daugther is as mad for stories as I am. I feel that her love for advetisement is inherited from me. And, I take pride in that. I love it when she believes in stories which she knows are not true, I love it when she has her own fantasy world where anything is possible. I love it when she shows me all her nakhras. Becuase that's so me. 

I wish our love keeps on growing; for advertsing and for each other. 

I love that she is my daughter...

It's actually ages since I wrote last time, almost half a decade. My life has changed by 180 degrees (actually 360 degrees) since last I wrote and I hav changed by 360 degrees too :-) Okay. So the first thing I noticed about my blog when I came back here is the title "Love is in the air". May be I was one of those fluttering love birds those days. I am still in love but now I am a mother of a 3 year old daughter and believe me it has changed my life COMPLETELY.

I might write about my motherhood experiences later (a lot to be written actually) but what drove me today to write my was my 3 year old reaction when I dropped her for her school today.

Someone has said; "Once a parent, always a parent". And it's completely true. I am still not in terms of being a mother sometimes and miss "me". But what happened today made me realise what all I can trade off for my lil one in my life.

It almost 3 weeks since she has started going to her new play school. And, today after 3 weeks, just after when I dropped her for her school and was in regular talks with her class teacher, she came running back. Running at full of her speed, like those dramatic entry or exit of Bollywood heroine when the love of her life tells her that he loves someone else. She came and hugged me tightly with her arms around my neck. I thought she got dropped somewhere and hurt herself. But you know what did she say?

She said: "Mumma mat jao. Mujhe apki bahut yaad ati hain. Main apke bina rah nahi sakti." and stated crying uncontrollably. I didn't know how to react to someone expressing her feeling in so plain words. I got tears in my eyes. I hugged her back and we cried for some time like that. Then I held myself and tried to explain her how important and necessary it is to go to school. Finally she reluctantly understood and went back.

Those few seconds were priceless and I realised what all I can sacrifice for those words. I realised how much I am loved.

Never felt more important than this. Not even when your dad proposed me. Thanks for making me feel special. Love you beta.

Successful Happy Life

As the title suggest, this post is really going to be complex. I myself don't know what all I want to write; just that I want to write something and in that process; I want it to be readable (worthy to read). 

Ok, so life is not going as I wanted it to be. This is not all for which I have studied so much or have taken so much of pain. The worst part is that I don't know what else should I have done to make it a Successful Happy Life. I am graduated from best of the colleges of India and married to the best person of this world; but still I am unhappy. So I really don't what better could have happened to have a Successful Happy Life.

Then I ask myself is there someone around me whose life I would like to swap with mine or I want to be in his/her shoes. But the answer comes no. So again I end up thinking what should I have done to make my life a Successful Happy Life.

Sometimes, I go philosophical and make myself understand that happiness is nothing material; its just your state of mind. You can feel amazing in a worst place and miserable in the most royal palace with all luxuries. I don't know from where I have acquired this wisdom; but then I again have a question- how to acquire that state of mind to lead a successful Happy Life.

Its long since anything good happened in my life or if at all it happened, I am not able to recognize and acknowledge it. 

And, now I have this hesitation to share this post because I don't want the whole world to know that I am not living 'The Successful Happy Life'. I want them to know me only through my FB pics and happy BBM status.

In the meanwhile, will keep looking the mantra of 'Successful Happy Life'. You let me know if you know that.

That's not me

One thing which I realise is that I need lots of push to drive myself to write and that push come through extreme emotions flowing in my head. Where my first post was the result of lots of positive thoughts, this 2nd post is a result of lots of turmoil happening in my professional life.

People around me tell me that why don't you learn to be a leader, an 'Always Politically Correct' person, cracking the deals (and showing you are the only one doing them), doing lots of PR starting from the peon of your company to the CEO of the largest FMCG company of India and becoming the 'Business Tycoon' of the world- you know the one everyone wants to be in their professional life. But That's not me; that's not the goal of my life and definitely not the reason of me being in this world. That's not me and I don't wan to be either. Because when I die and even if I am the CEO of the largest media company of Asia Pacific (that's the best I can think of basis on the kind of education and professional experience I have acquired so far); that won't make me happy. 

Rather I want to spend some memorable moments with you- just you and me (no calls on my phone, pings on my laptop or update on my BBM); I want to have some crazy trips with my friends; I want to exercise my ass off; I want to learn dancing/horse riding/swimming/skating bla bla bla. I haven't seen Mount Everest so far; haven't been  to seven wonders of world and haven't studied at Harvard School (First big university came to my mind; no other reason). I know I won't be able to do all this because I want to be what others want me to be. But, That's not me.

So, please don't push me. Because whatever best I will do; I won't become that. That's not me.